Some hae meat and cannat eat;
We wad eat — the snag is,
We’ve booked the room, the piper too,
But somewan’s swiped the haggis!

Noo, Burns nicht fare’s nae skanking ware
(Whate’er they mean by a’ that):
There’s but wan pud that’s any good
And bears the gree, and a’ that.

Mrs Mac popped tae the butcher’s shop
Tae place a timely order,
Tae provide her clients wi’ the choicest viands
Available south o’ the Border—

Tae sairve a meal wi’ sic appeal
‘Twould be be a nicht harmonious
For Sassenachs and Scots ex-pats—
A supper Caledonious.

But when she came tae fetch it hame
She was tell’t it by the butcher:
Some scallywag had filled his bag
An’ scarpered wi’ the supper!

Could we mak’ do wi’ French ragout,
A curry or a balti?
They’d tak’ a sneerin’ scornfu’ view
O’ sic a spread sae faulty!

Ach, on the day we’ll simply say:
We ken it isna cricket,
But we’ve sent oot for fish an’ chips—
If ye dinna like it — stick it!

Eddi Reader - Ae Fond Kiss (YouTube, 7m16s)