You may be amused by this slice of a not too distant future.

https://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2022/12/23

I will add that I am not partisan in this contest...

2

(328 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Here's a variant on a well known joke:

Rabbi Grossman is sitting one Saturday morning. He’s just come home from the synagogue and is bored silly. He wants to play golf. After wrestling with his conscience for an hour, he finally asks God to forgive him for breaking the Sabbath rules, throws his golf clubs in the car, and drives to a town 50 miles away so he won’t be recognized. He tees off.

Meanwhile, in heaven, Moses says to God, “Will you look at Rabbi Grossman breaking your holy Sabbath! What are you going to do about it?”
God thinks a minute, then just as Rabbi Grossman hits the ball on the 2nd hole, God blows out a huge, enormous, cosmic WHOOOSH and blows the ball right into the cup.
Moses exclaims, “Do you think this will teach him a lesson?! A hole in one?”
God smiles and says, “Think about it. Who can he tell?”

From the same comic website thread (Ripley Believe It or Not, today), not so well known, and I must confess, new to me:

I heard it differently. A preacher took his wife golfing. At the first hole, he sliced the ball, and yelled, “G/D it, I missed!” The wife said, “God’s going to get you for this!” The same thing happened at the next 2 holes. A big, black cloud came over, a bolt of lightning came down and killed the wife. A loud voice came from the cloud, saying, “G/D IT, I MISSED!”

Alfred, Karen,

Did you get the point, perhaps more appropriately, the context of of today's "Off the Mark?"
https://www.gocomics.com/offthemark/2022/12/22

4

(4 replies, posted in General Discussion)

When I was a volunteer, many years ago, in the Civil Defence Signals, we were taught that there was no midnight 12.00 pm. We had to record messages as being at 23.59 or 00.01

Yes , Alfred; it's painful.

I had two crushed vertebrae a couple of years ago, and I've really shrunk in body height.

Add to that, severe heart valve leakage - leaves me out of breath and fatigued.

As I'm 87 in 60 days, it's not surprising!

Merry Xmas!

It's Chanukah again.

Light the first candle tonight.

I feel too frail, having cracked another vertebra, to find and post, as I usually do throughout the festival, a picture of a chanukia with candles numbering from 1 tonight, to 8 on the 25th. Last day is Boxing Day 26th.

All our best wishes for the Festival we celebrate, and a peaceful, happy and comfortable Xmas to all of you who celebrate that.

Not to say that elements of the Winter Solstice Festival don't creep in our side door! Winter Solstice turkey, WS Pudding,...

In my household we don't put up decorations or a tree, although those of the family who married out do have trees. Serve them right that their cats destroy them....

p.s. Winter Solstice references are not intended to be woke, but to emphasise the common origin of some of these festivals.

7

(4 replies, posted in Mathematics & Science)

Here's a fascinating thought for you, William, in respect of

I did a thought experiment of considering every case of four flips of the coin

and

I then did a thought experiment of what happens......

I did a thought experiment of wondering if these thought experiments were actually analogue experiments.

(one) You presumably tabulated the results, and (two) your thoughts, or the entries, the data, in the table represented the real value of a flip, or whatever.

Discuss!!

If we get a new female cat she will probably be called кішка - kishka, the word for a female cat

You may like to know that in Yiddish, kishkas are guts, as in "He attacked me, but I got in a punch to his kishkas...", or more likely: "before cooking the fowl, don't forget to remove the kishkas!"

and in general:

Kishka or kishke refers to various types of sausage or stuffed intestine with a filling made from a combination of meat and meal, often a grain. The dish is popular across Eastern Europe as well as with immigrant communities from those areas. Wikipedia

So I suspect a cat being called kishka is not necessarily a compliment.

9

(328 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Re: Wooden start!

My wife says a prominent retailer in our town used to display a wooden  bike as as decoration, yonks ago. Other wooden things too, but beyond detail memory.

10

(328 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I've just realised that for some reason, I have not looked at the Jokes thread since to Four Candles pic posted 16 Oct. So after a good laugh, I remain puzzled by Alfred's music post yesterday.  Please, what is the joke there?

Is it that the loony playing the guitar in previous post is singing to Fur Elise, is he?

11

(328 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Joe,   thanks for passing these on.  They absolutely appeal to my sense of punning.

I'm not running up Jarte at this instant, it's too late, but will these post writing panels accept text underlined in Jarte, rather than the  [ u ]the[ /u ] needed here?

Just go to profile settings and set the time to actual in your area. Change that when DST starts and ends.

14

(7 replies, posted in General Discussion)

No-el .... No EL.

A card from, say, Chicago. The message: The Elevated Railway was destroyed in a series of fires......

There's a nice ponderous joke for you.

Speaking of ponderous, how about do you remember the Ponderosa Ranch in the US TV show?

I visited the Ponderosa "town" back in 1970 (or 71). I think it was in Nevada, not too far from Virginia City (I think) and not to far from the the eastern approach to Yosemite.

All the buildings displayed what would have been appropriate to their function if it was a real township, while in the back, they may have been offices. Like, the Assay Office showed things relevant to gold assaying - weighing balances, etc.  There was a saloon, which naturally didn't serve alcohol, but coffee, in plastic cups, which you could rest in a reproduction tin mug. I still have mine, somewhere.  They used to film the action in the "living room" in a big property in the town, but the stairs led nowhere, and all the other action was filmed in LA.

Cheese in a restaurant is served as several bits and is on a board because normally a portion of a chosen block is cut for serving.  A wooden board will not blunt the knife, which for cheese, usually has to go right down to the surface. A ceramic plate will eventually spoil the knife, and its dish shape makes it difficult to cut right down to the surface.

I am not sure what is intrinsically humorous about bits of cheese sitting on the board. Whether they were replaced due to age spoiling before being used up by serving depends on the restauranteur.

The expectation of a cheese board depends partly on ones upbringing, I guess.  I have been abroad very many times on business, and while it is not so in all countries, in France the offer of cheese is common. BTW, they eat it after the main course, le plat, and before the dessert - to finish the wine taken with the starter, l'entrée.

I suspect that you, William, do not usually eat cheese with a main meal, and the idea of bits of differently coloured cheese sitting on a board  is somehow funny. Me, I find the idea mouthwatering. I especially like, as they are available round here, Brie, Munster, Camembert, Port Salut, which are white. I love blue cheeses, Stilton, and St Agur from the Auvergne. Good yellow well-matured English Cheddar, for me is for breakfast. The available English Cheddars don't taste the same as the New Zealand Cheddars.

An anecdote about cheese? Well, last evening, I had opened a rather well ripe Brie. I had cut the end off the wedge, and had to perch the wedge on the rim of a Munster cardboard disc pack. After a while, the very soft cheese wa s_l_o_w_l_y oozing out of its sleeve. It reminded me of the experiment, I believe is in Australia, where a funnel full of pitch is slowly dripping, a drop taking many decades. It seems the last time a drop fell, it during the night, and sadly no-one saw it happen.

Anyone able to advise re do/undo facility?

This, otherwise interesting post, started as a request to confirm that GMT/DST switching is not automatic.
Please can anyone verify that?

18

(2 replies, posted in Mathematics & Science)

William, as you post an amazing number of web links, it would be helpful for you to include a short description of what we would find in the destination.

I don't mind looking up the occasional link, but it would be nice to be able  to ignore ones holding no interest.

Well meant....

Joe, the derivation of sak does not depend on order, as it is merely a part of an anagram involving another word.

Your clue, I thinks, digs a little too deep.
Using Kas, Turkey is calling up unusual geographic knowledge.

Compare another clue, in yesterday's Daily Telegraph (DT), in part: "In California."
The part answer was LA, which would be more in the nature of common knowledge.

However the whole word in the solution was Ladrone (I'll not explain the latter part), which is a word meaning a thief, not commonly used, nor found in all major dictionaries, which is  annoying. It means a thief or highwayman, the word coming from  the Spanish, apparently used only when referring to South America. While it is in the Chambers 20th Century dictionary (which many years ago was rated the best for DT crosswords), and is in the full Shorter Oxford (the two volume small print version) it is not in the large Collins.

EDIT>
Ladrone does appear in my 1967 Funk and Wagnalls dictionary which is to be expected as an American word. I believe the F & W dictionary is a major US source, or am I taking the wrong cue from the Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in  Show - Very Interesting.

BTW, I have an application "The Sage" which has dictionary lists, anagrams, wild card, etc, etc. Runs in W10.

........ My current actual time is 11:24 am.

I initially thought that's weird, as the time posted is shown as: Yesterday 19:24:49.

But I believe you are posting from the USA.

Thanks, Geoff, but these instructions don't cater for accidental deletion of text.

What I need would be, in the nature of things, instructions relating to the post writing environment, the sort of thing you would find in the toolbar above the text insert writing panel.

I often make a mistake and accidentally delete some lines.

Is there a do/undo function available?

I'm sure there has been some discussion on this in the past, but I can't  find it, so I'll ask again.

I noticed that most if not all of the times displayed in posts were one hour out, high.
I navigated to my profile/settings and found that the box for daylight saving time (DST) was ticked. I would have expected that meant the forum background system would set/unset DST automatically.

This appears not to be the case, so I unticked the box, which sets all post times to GMT, winter time or whatever you want to call it.
Do I really have to do that every time change DST/GMT?

One might not be very concerned about whether posts were tagged with DST or GMT, but it is interesting when one is looking for posts tagged today or yesterday. Posts entered in the hour before midnight were tagged as today, so one entered at 11:30pm (23:00) was shown as today, 00:30. That's what alerted me to the point. (I hope I've got the order right!)

A crossword clue should never be worded like that, since “sak” isn’t a proper word. However, “chief” and “ask” would work fine.

Not good, as there is no basis for the  "sak"

I presume you accept this:

Japanese wine = saki
me subject = I
without me subject= delete the i, saki > sak
anagram of .... +sak = .....

I certainly could expect such a clue part.

I have just thought of another clue. How about:
"Patty addled main  Japanese wine without me subject, cod maybe."

Patty ....cod maybe = description of fishcake
addled = anagram indicator
main = chief
Japanese wine = saki
me subject = I
without me subject= delete the i, saki > sak
anagram of chief +sak = fishcake